the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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