my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
