Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
