Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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