How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
