I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
