I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
