well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
