I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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