i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
