Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
