its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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