I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
the raccoons are back...
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