Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
