I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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