he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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