and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
no you cant smoke seaweed
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Randomize
