I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize