There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
