There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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