sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
