Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
