That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
