You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize