doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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