Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
