You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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