dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
