And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
