OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
