Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
