Welp...herpes.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I have aggressive nipples.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
