Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
