Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
His hands were made for my vagina.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
