just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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