is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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