I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
What a dumb baby whore.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize