Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
