walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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