It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
