Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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