I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize