On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
