i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
