I murdered the dance floor call the cops
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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