4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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