if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
