you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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