Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize