Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
