Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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