I love black thongs
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
