from now on my penis is your penis
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
