ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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