I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize