it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
