I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
