I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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