soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
