i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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