'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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