do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
