we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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