Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
