new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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