what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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