I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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