my sisters under your porch take her home
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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