I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize