Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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