yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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