I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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