He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
