Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
