ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
