How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
