Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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