I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
